Beans
by kaytee412
Summary: A hunting trip goes bad, a wretched downpour, getting lost, and an empty stomach. All Aragorn wants is a certain food item. Will he get it, or will he get something else?


Author's Note: Beans is the answer to the challenge from San on the Mellon Chronicles list. Everyone cheer for San! Yay! Thanks so much San! You rock!

Umm...as for Say You're Here...don't kill me! Please! (Runs and Hides behind computer chair) This is a fic which I had to re-write, and have not finished re-writing. I'm having a major writers block meltdown...people, pray for the plot bunnies to come and help me! Thank you to everyone,for being so patient with me! I really appreciate that. 

Title: Beans (My fist attempt at a humorous story, or anything other than seriousness, so bear with me!)

Rating: G

Disclaimer: None of the characters or places are mine, they all belong to JRR Tolkien and whoever else has the right to claim them. Sadly, I don't have that right. sigh

Note: I did some research for this fic! I got lots of bean information at websites that won't show up at (It won't show any links) and I figured I needed some background information on what I was dealing with here :). So thanks to those sites for the bean info!

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They had been travelling day and night. And day...and night. Aragorn and Legolas had been on a long hunting trip for the past week and a half. Yet for a hunting trip, they had no food. There had been no deer, birds, not even wargs. There were no signs of life for miles around. So the hunting trip was, to say the least, unsuccessful. Now, they were heading back to Imladris...and it was raining. Legolas pulled the hood of his cloak up over his head, but even that wasn't protecting against the storm. Aragorn had had enough.

"Okay, this is a disaster," he said to Legolas. Both friends were walking, no, trudging, through the mud, in the rain, with empty stomachs. "It's bad enough that we caught nothing on our hunting trip, got ourselves lost, had to be stuck eating a few wild berries, and travel back home hungry. But now, it just has to rain. I swear, the Valar are punishing us for something we have done in a very cruel way."

Legolas smiled at this sudden remark from the man. They had been silent for some time now, neither person having anything to talk about, and it seemed Aragorn couldn't take the misfortune any longer.

"Well," started the Elf, "we wouldn't have gotten lost if you were paying attention to where you were going. I seem to remember that most of the time you were constantly talking about the lovely, fair, graceful, beautiful, and gracious Arwen Undomiel."

Aragorn turned and glared at Legolas through the pouring rain. "Well, sorry that I actually love someone who loves me back," he retorted.

Legolas started to walk faster, and puffed out his chest to look more 'manly'. "Arwen loves me and I love her," he said in a deeper, gruff voice. "We love each other, and we will be together until the end of our days. She's so beautiful, graceful, and gentle. Where are we? I don't know, but I don't care, for I am in love with Arwen." Legolas laughed when he finished his impression of Aragorn, and the ranger tried to keep a straight face.

"At least I didn't take us to an orc cave. Besides, why didn't you tell me we were going in the wrong direction? Is it because you didn't know we weren't following the trail either?" Legolas shook his head.

"I don't know the area that well, Estel. Besides, you are a ranger, are you not? I've never heard of a ranger losing his way around his native homeland..." the elf trailed off. Aragorn opened his mouth, perhaps to give an angry reply to his friend's comment, when his right leg dropped three feet below his left. The man jumped and looked down, to see his leg in a three-foot ditch, filled with water and mud. Legolas, on the left side of Aragorn, laughed merrily at Aragorn's newly found predicament. The man scowled and brought his soaked leg out of the water. Now he wasn't wet and cold, but drenched and cold...and hungry. Legolas was the only one not finding their current situation dismaying.

"I'm sorry mellon nin," Legolas apologizeed with a grin. "It just seems that cursed luck likes to follow you everywhere you go." Aragorn let out a heavy sigh and shook his leg. The rain kept pouring down from above, not once giving a sign of clearing or backing down. Thunder crashed and lightning flashed overhead as they walked back towards Imladris.

Suddenly, Legolas heard a loud grumble. He took a defensive position and brought out his long white knives. Seeing his friend's change of stance, Aragorn brought his hand to the hilt of his sword.

"What is it?" whispered Aragorn, looking around their surroundings. He glanced at the wet Elf beside him.

"Did you hear that? It was like a growl. It sounded like some kind of bear, or perhaps a warg," Legolas said, crouching low in case of an attack.

"Uhm, no Legolas. That was no bear or warg. That was my stomach," explained Aragorn, holding his belly. Legolas looked up and put his knives away. Once he was standing up again, he stared at Aragorn for a few seconds with an expressionless face. Then, he burst into laughter. Aragorn rolled his eyes and continued walking, with a laughing Elf at his side.

"Aragorn, that was so loud...you must be kidding me...your stomach?" Legolas managed to get out between fits of laughter.

"Well, we haven't exactly had anything to eat since we left a week ago, have we? All we've really had is a few berries and maybe a walnut here and there. I can't go without food as long as you."

Legolas wiped at his blue eyes which had been tearing from laughing so hard, and took a deep breath to calm down. "I guess you're right. It was just so loud and took me by surprise. I doubt that I've ever heard a stomach growling that loudly."

"You know what I would really love to eat right about now?" Aragorn inquired in a light tone. He answered his own question before Legolas had time to answer. "Beans."

Legolas' brow furrowed and he looked at Aragorn, puzzled. He was afraid that what he just heard was correct. "Beans? Estel, you want beans?"

"Yes, beans. Any kind of bean. Green beans, yellow snap beans, shell beans, dry beans, pinto beans, white beans, black beans, navy beans, kidney beans, french beans, pink beans, butter beans, lima beans, pole beans, winged beans, adzuki beans, cranberry beans, roman beans, great northern beans, or southern beans. Any type of those delicious vegetables that help your body get healthy."

Legolas stared at Aragorn once again, but this time he was taken aback by how many beans there were. How Aragorn even knew all those beans was a complete mystery. "So, you really like your beans then, Estel?"

"Of course. Ada makes the best bean soup..." Aragorn licked his lips, imagining the hot, scrumptious, bean liquid sliding down his throat. "What I would give for a bowl of Ada's beans."

Legolas glanced sideways at Aragorn, making sure that he was okay, before continuing on his way. The ranger followed the Elf, but was constantly daydreaming about Elrond's beans and bean soup. They walked through the cold, dreary downpour again. Legolas was, ironically, also thinking about beans. Although, not in the same way as Aragorn was. Legolas never really developed a keen interest in the small vegetable. He didn't really like the way they tasted either. Yet, he knew now that Aragorn had a peculiar fetish for beans. Why he liked them so much, Legolas didn't know. Though he was sure Elrond must make some kind of astounding bean soup to make anyone so fond of beans.

A few hours later, the two friends finally made it back home to Rivendell. By that time, it had stopped raining, but Aragorn and Legolas were still wet. They were met by Elladan and Elrohir when they entered the House of Elrond.

"Estel, Legolas, you two looked like you just went swimming. Why did you go for a swim at so late an hour?" Elladan asked, not knowing that a few leagues away there had been a rain storm. Aragorn glared at his older brother, before stomping inside the house.

"What's wrong with Aragorn?" questioned Elrohir to Legolas, who was still standing outside.

"There was a large amount of rain a couple of leagues back, and he's really hungry. Our hunting trip was...futile. We managed to get ourselves lost, and catch nothing to eat. I think Aragorn wants to eat some...beans. He has quite a thing for them." Legolas looked from one twin to the other, watching them exchange smiles.

"Beans are Estel's favorite food. Especially if Ada makes them. He's the first person to the dinner table when he smells the aroma of bean soup," Elladan explained to the Wood-elf. Elrohir nodded in agreement, and the three went inside.

Normally, Aragorn would have gotten something to eat right about now. Yet, he and Legoolas were so tired, that they both went straight to bed. Even before Lord Elrond welcomed them home, they slept soundly in their rooms.

The next afternoon, Aragorn awoke from bed, and groggily rubbed his eyes. The man walked slowly down the stairs, and sat down on the wooden chair by the table. Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas were already seated at the table and Lord Elrond was preparing lunch.

"Suilaid, Estel. We were wondering when you would wake," Elrohir greeted his younger brother. Aragorn's response was a small grunt and he rubbed at his eyes once more.

"Good afternoon, Aragorn. I never got a moment to see you last night. Legolas told me about your hunting trip being in vain, but do not despair, for I have made you some bean soup." At that second, Aragorn's eyes lit up and he beamed at his father. He jumped out of his seat and pulled the Eldar into a tight embrace.

"Ada, I really yearned for that! Hannon le," Aragorn said, though it was somewhat muffled by the Elf Lord's robes.

"You're very welcome. Now, I have planned for a picnic right outside Imladris, in the peaceful forests. This way, you can eat your bean soup and enjoy the outdoors without the cold rain. How does that sound?"

"Just perfect. Let us get going!" exclaimed Aragorn.

When they reached their picnicking spot, the whole group, which consisted of Aragorn, Legolas, Elrond, and the twins, sat down and brought out their individual bowls of bean soup. Aragorn brought his bowl up to his nose and inhaled the sweet scent of beans. He was so anxious to just dig right into his bowl of liquidy goodness. Aragorn set his bowl back on the ground and picked up his spoon.

Just then, they heard rustling in the trees next to them. Then, a large warg launched out of the woods and headed straight for the group. Everyone jumped up at once and got away from the warg's intended path. There was a huge commotion amongst everybody, as no one had brought a weapon. None of them expected a warg so close to Imladris, so they didn't think a weapon to be necessary. So, instead of waiting around to be lunch for the warg, the five turned and fled a bit deeper into the forest. A minute or so later, they travelled cautiously back to their picnic area. The warg was gone, and nothing seemed to be disturbed. They looked around, and everything was quiet until...

"The warg ate my beans!" yelled Aragorn. The other four members of the group came to the man, and saw his bowl of delicious bean soup empty.

Legolas couldn't stand it anymore, and fell to the ground, laughing harder than he ever had before. Their so-called hunting trip had been hilarious, but right when Aragorn got the chance to get something he really longed for, it was taken away from him. The twins also started to laugh, and Elrond quickly joined into the mirth. Aragorn tapped the empty bowl lightly with his foot, muttering to himself, 'wretched warg.' He sat down on the grass and sighed, holding his head in his hands. The Elves were still laughing uncontrollably. Finally, Aragorn could withstand no longer, and started to chuckle at his own misfortune. It was actually amusing, even though it was horribly evil. Who would have guessed that all his loathsome events in the past two weeks could actually be seen as humorous?

Epilougue:

Aragorn, Legolas, Elladan, Elrohir, and Elrond went back to Imladris right after the warg incident. The warg had a nice, warm belly full of beans. Legolas never actually had to eat the bean soup, much to his delight.

Aragorn finally got to eat Elrond's famous bean soup, the one thing he had been wanting for the longest time.

The End


End file.
